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UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World
PDF Download UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World
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Hailed as “an absolute must-read” (Jean Twenge) and a book that “will change your kids’ lives” (Jack Canfield), UnSelfie by Dr. Michele Borba explains what parents and educators MUST do to combat the growing empathy crisis among children today—including a 9-step empathy-building program with tips to guide kids from birth through college, and beyond.Teens today are forty percent less empathetic than they were thirty years ago. Why is a lack of empathy—which goes hand-in-hand with the self-absorption epidemic Dr. Michele Borba calls the Selfie Syndrome—so dangerous? First, it hurts kids’ academic performance and leads to bullying behaviors. Also, it correlates with more cheating and less resilience. And once children grow up, a lack of empathy hampers their ability to collaborate, innovate, and problem-solve—all must-have skills for the global economy. In UnSelfie Dr. Borba pinpoints the forces causing the empathy crisis and shares a revolutionary, researched-based, nine-step plan for reversing it. The good news? Empathy is a trait that can be taught and nurtured. Dr. Borba offers a framework for parenting that yields the results we all want: successful, happy kids who also are kind, moral, courageous, and resilient. UnSelfie is a blueprint for parents and educators who want to kids shift their focus from I, me, and mine…to we, us, and ours.
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Product details
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: Touchstone; Reprint edition (May 23, 2017)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1501110071
ISBN-13: 978-1501110078
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.9 x 8.4 inches
Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.8 out of 5 stars
126 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#12,584 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
The challenge for any reader in opening Dr. Michele Borba's book " Unselfie " is having the ability to put it down. Be prepared to be captivated with her practical insights, empirical data and common sense approach in raising children to be kind, caring and empathetic individuals in our global community.In reading UnSelfie, Dr. Michele Borba has been able to answer the question many parents desire to know: "what do kids really need to be happy and successful?" Her research, passion and life experiences in reaching out to people throughout the world has given her the answer. The answer is not complicated to understand, but totally goes against a society that has become self absorbed! Her answer cannot be any more clear to the reader, it is EMPATHY, a quality that has to be taught.In this book, Dr. Borba has captured the essence of empathy. Through her many years of scientific research , she has come up with 9 essentials habits and many practical strategies to equip children with the tools to help them live a happy, successful life. She identifies it as the "Empathy Advantage".This book is not only for parents and educators, it is for young couples planning to enter parenthood, health care providers, social workers, grandparents and any other person who has the privilege in being an instrumental role model in a child's life.While reading this thought provoking and inspiring book, I concluded this book is not just about helping children to be empathetic individuals, it is also an opportunity for adults to reflect on whether or not they need to consider if the Empathy Advantage could become more of an integral part in their own life. Empathy can be taught and it is never too late to learn!Terry Gill
While I did like the book and found many useful ideas, this is a book I will have to come back to once my own children are in elementary school. Most of the ideas and lessons are for school-aged children, although there are a few that you can start from preschool age. There is a key for each activity section that says All, L (little kids; toddlers and preschoolers), S (school age), T (teens), etc, but I found quite a lot of the activities for little kids to be too advanced for my 3 year old. For now, I’ll do what I did find she-appropriate, and I will definitely re-read this when my children are older.
I am an elementary school counselor and I love this book. It has made me view things differently. I am now working harder to incorporated teaching empathy to my students in my guidance lessons.
Great book. Learning to guide children towards the full, loving life you envision for them can feel daunting but Unselfie thoughtfully and practically explains how empathy can empower children to succeed. The ideas in this book are easily implemented. The story-filled chapters make reading enjoyable. I can’t recommend this book enough.
Abraham Lincoln famously stated, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.†(He paraphrased Jesus’ words in his acceptance speech for the Illinois senate.) In our contemporary world rife with contention, anger, fear and violence, never has the need to join hands and work together been more important. In our families, schools, communities and countries our ability to thrive and succeed requires communal effort, mutual respect and individual contribution.Michele Borba, Ed.D has penned, UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World, a gem of a book that asserts that when they operate with empathy, not only do our children, families and communities feel and function better for everyone, but also that holy grail of American philosophy–one’s ability to achieve personal SUCCESS-dramatically improves. She outlines why parents’ best strategy for supporting their kids success is to teach them how to be empathetic.Borba points out just as families must encourage (expect) academic achievement, parents must set clear expectations for our kids to live a life based on values and empathy. In the absence of regular nurturing, practice and acknowledgement, the fragile bud of empathy and values-based behavior withers and “me first†“not-my-problem†mentality replaces it.Emotional literacy, empathy, and, an internalized moral compass don’t just happen. Parents must intentionally teach, model, encouraged, and reinforce empathy. We need teach our family values with intention, clarify, and commitment.( The Swift* family is kind. The Swift* family helps. The Swift* family respects others, etc.,) We parents must routinely express our expectation that our children will live according to those values. When our kids follow through, we need to notice, affirm and reinforce that commitment to living with in the family value frame.As a culture we are quick to encourage and acknowledge academic and athletic excellence. We must elevate empathy to the same high regard.Why should adoptive parents embrace her idea? Through the lens of Intentional parenting, we often focus on emotional literacy and on fostering an environment which attunes to emotional states and welcomes the honest expression of those feelings–the happy, the sad, and the “ugly.†We understand that human beings are “feeling†beings and that emotions influence our thoughts, beliefs and behavior. We get that.Borba invites us to graduate to a higher appreciation of the need for emotional resonance, one that understands that by attuning with empathy to emotions –ours and those around us– we activate the highest plane of our humanity. We see other points of view, hear other ideas, and communicate instead of talking at one another.And. Everyone. Benefits.When we recognize the impact of our choices and actions have on others and work to cooperate instead of stepping on others to boost ourselves, something wonderful happens: stress diminishes, bullying lessens, health improves and everyone not only has a better “shot†at success, more people achieve success and feel better about themselves and others in the process. She asserts that empathy is foundational to the development of a moral identity. Sound to good to be true?Her well-researched book includes much documentation that supports her point of view and the improvements which increased empathy produced in schools, communities and families.This book overflows with simple, effective and practical ideas for how to nurture empathy because it is a skill parents can teach. Anyone can learn to be empathetic. She shares many strategies for “developing, practicing, and living empathy.†Many are brilliantly simple.PLEASE read this book. Our world needs more Intentional, empathetic and attuned families.#TogetherWeSucceed As adoptive families people often question the validity of our families or see them as slightly less connected. We know how it feels to have to defend our legitimacy. If instead, people cultivated a more empathetic POV, they would see that we love as deeply and are as connected and real as their own. --Gayle H. Swift, "ABC, Adoption & Me"
First off, I will buy this book as a gift for all new parents I know!I will use this information and share with educators in my work on developing positive school culture---can't wait!. I have always been a fan of Dr. Michelle Borba and have heard her speak many times. I have always admired her passion and insight on reducing bullying in schools and now this book---I am promoting it everywhere! Thank you for doing the research, being in the field, talking to children, and increasing our awareness on how to best raise children. This book should be used in all parenting classes.Dr. Debbie SacksTwitter: @debrasacksdsacks@clsteam.net
As a mother, grandmother, and former teacher, I have spent most of my life around children. We should all be striving to help guide this next generation to be successful, giving, empathic young people and adults. This book has made clear the task before us and the practical means by which we can participate in this endeavor. Thank you, Dr. Borba, for sharing your gifts with us in yet another masterful book - Unselfie.
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